24 Mar 2011
Wow, I can’t believe how time flies and how life can get so busy. Yes, it has been a while since I have posted and I so want to thank those of you who have sent me emails asking if I was Okay and wondering where I have been. Thank you so much for your concern and support.
With that said, over the last several months I have read three book and re-read one book from a few years back. My re-read book was “The 5-Love Languages” Whether you are in a relationship or not this book is a great read because the concepts can be used in both personal relationships as well as work relationships.
To give a brief summary, the five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Each of you have a primary and secondary love language and I believe it is very important for you to determine and know what you love language is as well as the language of your spouse. With that said, it is also a good idea to determine the love language of those you work with. No, not because you are “in love with them” but because you spend at least eight hours a day with them and learning about them can only help your working relationship with them.
For example, my primary love language is Quality Time, I thrive and feel love when those I care about spend quality time with me. Quality time is not just being in the same room together. Quality time that actually learning about each other through intimate conversation, wow there is nothing better. Sadly I have discovered through life that few people around me have that same language. What that means is I am speaking to others in a foreign language and they are speaking to me in a foreign language and neither of us understand each other or are getting feed (or loved) in the way we need.
This has been true certainly in my personal life but as well as in my professional life. I have had to really study and learn about those I work with in order to try to determine their love language. Then, I have had to learn how to “talk” in that language. For example, I believe my manager’s love language is Words of Affirmation. I have had to learn how to talk in that language and provide words of affirmation to him, once I began talking in his language it has helped our working relationship. In a professional environment, being able to improve working relationships helps reduce stress and makes your work day go by with just a little bit more enjoyment. If Words of Affirmation is your language you are probably wondering why I would have to “learn” how to do that. Well, if that is your love language it comes natural to you, however, you may not know who to speak Quality Time to someone like me, therefore you would have to learn how.
So if that can help your working relationship, even in a one way direction, imagine how it would help your at home personal relationships when both you and your spouse learn each others love language and then learn how to talk to each other in the proper language. It would change your lives and your relationships. It will take work, learning a new language is hard and tiring, but isn’t your spouse worth it? It may be one way at first, but with time and some consistency you will see your relationships grow stronger.
What is your love language?