25 Oct 2010
When these changes occur, you can’t let it stop you. It may slow you down a bit but you can’t let it stop you from living life. With that said, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t knock the wind out of your sails. Even after you start to regain your balance, you may still feel a sense of emptiness in the area in which this change occurred, even years after the incident you may still feel like something is missing.
By now I am sure you know I am referring specifically to divorce, but that doesn’t limit the feeling of a void from other life changes or traumatic experience that will through you off balance, knock the wind out of you and slow you down for a season. That is okay, you have to take time to recover.
Once you start coming out of your fog and start feeling steady on your feet again you may still miss something from the loved one who left, regardless of the terrible hurt and pain someone else caused you there will still be some things that you miss from that person.
Sometimes what you miss is something you never really had but always wished you had. Regardless, it is natural to miss something from a broken relationship or other major life change.
A good healing process is to take time to think through what you miss most about the loss you have experienced. Write down those things and then find a support network that can support you where the void exists for a season. It will never replace the loss the loved one created, but it is important to fill the void, make sure it is just for a season, don’t use a support network as a crutch, more as a stepping stone.
Fill the void, don’t fill the spot. By that I mean don’t find a replacement partner, fill the void of support you miss. If you are starting a new business, hook up with other people who are also starting a new business, who have traveled down a road you are now traveling on. If you are a working mom, find other working moms who are in a similar situation as you…get a support network. Build your strength back up.
You may miss not having that special someone there to talk too, someone who is on your side and your side alone. Find a support network of people that are on your path. They will not be solely on your side as they have their own families, but they are on your path. They are a network you can bounce ideas off. Is it the same as bouncing things off the person you miss….no, but it will fill the void.
Don’t let a life change stop you. Don’t let a void stop you cold in your tracks. Grieve for a season, then pick yourself up, brush yourself off, reach up to Christ for a foundation of support, fill your voids with solid support networks and move forward.